I’m not that old, I’m only 19. I’ve lived a relatively sheltered life and I don’t have tonnes of life experience compared to a great many people. I have, however, still learnt a thing or two about this life and how to go about living it.

1. Sometimes it’s not your fault

Sometimes, the way somebody is treating you has nothing to do with you. This is especially true when you’ve tried your best to be a decent human being but the other person still treats you like shit. It’s in those moments when you have to realise that it’s not your fault, you did nothing wrong, clearly, that person is going through some stuff, and you need not feel offended for being treated badly because it’s not your fault. You move on with your life and carry on. You’re clearly not the problem and the best thing you can do is pray for them.

2. Sometimes it is your fault

Sometimes, the way somebody is treating you is as a result of the energy and vibe you’re giving off. It can sometimes be confusing to tell when it’s your fault and when it isn’t but the only way to do so is through some honest introspective self-evaluation to find out where you stand emotionally and how you’re conveying yourself to other people. If you realise, “Oh damn, I’m not in a good place right now” and people are responding in a not so positive manner then, yeah, it’s totally your fault. Check yourself, hunny. Before you wreck yourself.

3. You can’t force people to do things

You can try to persuade them but at the end of the day, people make their own choices. It’s hard not to take it personally when people say no or don’t respond to what you’re giving out but at the end of the day, it’s not in your control so why stress over the things you have absolutely zero control over? It’s a waste of time and energy. Move on and do better.

4. Stress is an undercover killer

You can try to live your life right. You know, eat healthy, drink water, sleep well… But if you don’t stop stressing, none of that matters because stress has more power over your body than anything else. Stress destroys you from the inside out and I feel like people don’t talk about it enough. I don’t talk about it enough because I lowkey stress a lot and I feel guilty and hypocritical telling people not to stress when I don’t know how to stop. Honestly, though, stress will kill you. Keep that in mind.

5. If you’re feeling down, just wash your hair

I don’t know what it is about washing your hair that’s so soothing but when you wash your hair you feel another level of renewed and refreshed that only taking a shower will not make you feel. It’s as if, along with all the dirt and excess oil in your hair, your troubles, exhaustion and lack of energy for life are all washed away too. There’s also something about feeling like you have your shit together when you wash your hair, especially if you go all out with a deep conditioning treatment. It’s an act of self-care and self-love that is so simple yet so effective in lifting your spirit.

6. Fresh air and sunlight is healing

There’s probably nothing as renewing and uplifting as being outside, lying on the grass and feeling the warmth of the sun absorb into your skin. I know I just said washing your hair is renewing but sunlight… It’s like you’re reborn. It’s revitalising. I think we take the sun for granted, especially living in a country like Namibia, but the sun has so many healing properties, especially for the soul. The sun is the source of all life on earth so obviously, it will align your mind body and spirit when you mindfully absorb its energy. Just don’t bask in the sunlight for too long because sunburn is unpleasant and the sun has this nasty habit of zapping your energy instead of replenishing it after a while.

7. Forgive and forget

We’re told to forgive but remember that asshole’s name. But if you remember have you really forgiven? True forgiveness is letting go of any negative emotional attachment behind whatever it is that person did to you. True forgiveness is getting over it to such a point where it is of no value to you anymore and your mind chooses to put it in the recycling bin along with all the other random stuff that don’t matter anymore. So no, don’t “forgive” but remember whatever wrongdoing was done to you, forgive and forget. Let it go. Forreals this time.

8. You’re the one with the power

In the same way you can’t force people to do anything, people can’t force you to do anything. It’s always your choice. It’s your choice to catch feelings. It’s your choice to hold that grudge. It’s your choice to stay in that toxic relationship. It’s your choice to get drunk and make regrettable decisions. It’s also your choice to wake up and decide to be happy. It’s your choice to forgive. It’s your choice to see the good. Nobody made you angry and nobody made you happy it was your choice to react in a negative or positive way. Remember that. It’s always your choice. Choose well.

9. The first three days of doing something new are the hardest. Don’t give up.

When you start doing something for the first time, be it working out, playing an instrument, learning a new language or even starting a new job, the first 3 days will be the hardest. Your body will ache, you’ll feel like quitting, and you’ll feel like you’re not improving but then, without fail, day 4 will come along and finally, you’ve got the hang of it. Finally, you remember how to say “Where is the bathroom?” in Spanish. It all works out. You just have to get through those first 3 days.

10. “A man who stands for nothing falls for anything”

It’s important to believe in something. More importantly, it’s imperative to know why you do what you do. You can’t just do something for the sake of doing it. You have to have a legitimate reason for doing something otherwise you can end up in a number of circumstances that will bite you in the ass. Following blindly, going with the flow, and not thinking about why you’re doing something is dangerous. There are terms and conditions for every single decision you make and if you do not pay attention you could seriously get hurt. Know why you do the things you do because niggas creeping. Stay woke.